3 Ways to Make Sure She Remembers Your Name

Even if you're an interesting person, chances are she'll forget your name.  But if you understand how memory works, you can be sure she'll always remember who you are.

The most tricky part about memory is that names are fairly arbitrary, and memory needs a solid connection in order for someone to recall a fact later on.  The more connections you can give to you and your name, the more likely she'll remember it!  So what are some really effective ways to be sure she doesn't forget?

1) Find a Famous Ancestor

Do some genealogical research on Familysearch.org – Find a famous ancestor and whenever you meet someone new, tell her you’re related to them.  This only takes a little research beforehand and once you have an ancestor you will be able to use it forever after that.  This is particularly effective for women because women are generally more interested in interpersonal connections.  Plus if it's someone successful or nobility of some kind, they'll associate you with that person which will make you seem more attractive by association

2) Name a famous person with your same first name

This should be easy - just the mention of a celebrity with your name will almost instantly associate your name with that person, and with you!

3) Mention how your name is misspelled most often

Memory tends to link to things that are unexpected, or peculiar - so just mentioning a fact about the way your name is spelled (or misspelled) gives her brain more information to attach your name to long-term memory.

How do you attract more like-minded women in your life?

Can Facebook Events help me attract more like-minded women in my life?

In order to attract more interesting people (including interesting women) in your life, you need to first be more interesting yourself.  Try to step a little outside your comfort zone each day, and try new things for the sake of learning more about your own likes and dislikes.  Just be sure you allow yourself to have an open mind, and try things at least a few times before you dismiss them as dislikes.

A great way to get out more, and try new things is to attend more events.  But how do you find an event to attend?  Have you tried Facebook events?

Find events near you on Facebook Desktop:

1. Click on Events on the right side of the page 
2. Browse “Events Popular in Your Network” and “Popular Events Nearby”

Find events near you on Facebook Mobile:

1. Click the more icon on the bottom right of the screen
2. Select Events  
3. Browse “Popular in Your Network” and “Popular”.  Click the > icon to see more

Whenever you don’t have a date lined up, or else don’t want to stress about a 1:1 date, try to attend an event of some kind to practice meeting new people, and doing new things.  Also while you’re out, practice your date offers whenever you find someone you would like to spend more time with.

And don’t forget to HAVE FUN!!  Hope it helps!  Tell us about your experience.

10 Ways to Get Past the First Date

BEFORE YOUR DATE:


1. Get ready (dress up) Show that you’re anticipating your first date in your clothing. Buy a new shirt off the mannequin – and if she brings it up, you can tell her about the mannequin, or how it makes you uncomfortable, but it was fun to think of her when you got it.
2. Smell good (but not too much) Hopefully this is self-explanatory for most, but shower before your date, wear deodorant, and ONE spray of cologne under your shirt – just enough for her to notice a new smell when she comes in close!

ON YOUR DATE:


1. Show you’re on the rise If there is an opportunity, briefly mention where you plan to be with your career, or education in 5 years. Tell her briefly about your aspirations, and ask her about hers.
2. Be attentive to her and others Whenever she says something think “…begs the question” – as in what question does her last comment beg? Is there anything else about what she said that she didn’t include right out of the gate? Ask at least one follow up question whenever she brings up a new topic!
3. Confident, but not cocky Just stay out of the fringes with confidence. You don’t have to be a Casanova, but if you’re feeling awkward try and imagine yourself looking back on this first date and reminiscing about it. Also try and have candy or mints or gum or a small snack to break out and nibble on – this tricks your brain into feeling comfortable because we tend to associate eating with comfort. On the other end, avoid being cocky at all on your first date – this should be all about her if you’re going to want to go on another date with her.
4. Find shared interests/connections Try and find a shared connection, even if it’s super common. Ask her about movies from your childhood, and ask her about movies from her childhood. Ask about mundane situations around childhood such as first best friends, school lunch, favorite playground features, Fourth grade teachers, or any other simple experiences from childhood that might be common between you. Once you find one, and hopefully laugh about it, she’ll associate you with that (hopefully fond) memory.
5. Make it fun Whatever you do – try and find something spontaneous to add a little fun to your date, for example if waiting for a movie instead of just sitting in the theater, go on a quick walk and pretend to dance with her and give her a twirl, or stop at a playground before dinner and go on the swings, or at mini-golf challenge her to use the golf club like a pool cue on one hole. Just find a different way of doing what you are doing. This will help you stand out and stick in her memory.
6. Make her laugh Do something silly, or laugh at your own hubris. Find some way to insert humor into the first date, even if it’s at the expense of first dates in general! First dates are the WORST! Haha.
7. Leave her curious If she is interested in something about you, offer to finish the story on the next date, or offer to show her where something happened in your childhood on your next date, or offer to bring her something interesting on your next date related to your conversation. Don’t over promise, but if you can think of a way to make her curious, it will be a surefire way to get past the first date.
8. Ask for a second date Why not ask for a second date? Find a moment when things are going well, and point it out – “I’m having a lot of fun, we should do this again soon!” or mention something specific to look forward to – “I’ve been meaning to go see that new movie sometime, would you like to go see it with me this weekend?”

Luvidya can help you make your dating experience more successful! Book an appointment today OR Call Luvidya directly at 415-322-9293!

Male Fashion Do's and Don’ts: Tips and tricks for attracting women

We live in a world of opinions, especially when it comes to attracting the opposite sex.  Views on what women find attractive can be confusing, time-consuming and frustrating to understand for a man.  Women like to be pleased, and what men wear on a first date is extremely important because first impressions truly do matter.   Fashion advice is thrown at men, but it’s hard for them to decipher the facts from the fiction because rarely is the fashion advice explained.

One thing men need to know is that all women are different and each one tends to be drawn to different looks and styles.  This may seem alarming, because how will you know what to wear?!  A good thing to note is that most all women are attracted to men who look clean, casual and confident.  This is especially true on a first date, where looks weigh a lot more than they do on any other date. 

Worry no more because we did the research for you! Below are 3 fashion tricks for men to help them make the first impression they yearn for.  So sit back, throw on those reading glasses and enjoy the next five minutes of fashion education that is sure to aesthetically please any woman in your life. 

1.) Shoes are VERY important!  Women tend to look at the details! If you have planned your outfit well you will have everything covered, even your shoes!  Us females notice the particulars, and it has a substantial impact on how we perceive the first impression you make.

• Do:  Get one pair of white and one pair or black kicks, with little to no design.  That way you can dress them up or down (depending on the date situation).  Also, by having a few seasonal shoes for all types of weather shows to women that you are prepared for anything.  Try a pair of leather loafers for the winter or classic all terrain sandals for a summer hike!

• Don’t:  Never wear socks and sandals; they make you look clueless and sloppy. If you chose to pair them together, that first impression will also be the last impression.

2.) Wear clothing that fits your body well.  When you wear shirts and pants that fit well, and frame your body in a flattering way, you will always impress a woman with your look.  Also, when you wear fitted clothes women perceive them to be more expensive.  That way they will never know that shirt you’re wearing was only $15 if it fits you like a glove. 

• Do: Find a quality tailor and never let them go!  If you get that magical tailor to work wonders on your clothing you will actually save more cash in the long run, and get more dates too!  Why wouldn’t you want a shirt or pair of pants that looks like it was made for your body?!

• Don’t: Please don’t wear jeans that are too big, especially without a belt.  Women loathe when a man waddles with his pants sitting on his thighs and knees.  We should never have to see your boxers unwillingly outside of the bedroom.

3.) Don’t skimp on the outerwear, a casual jacket is an essential wardrobe staple. Far too many times women have mentioned to us that although their date dressed great, once they put on their jacket they look like a good-for-nothing mess.  Make sure to have proper jackets for the outfits you are wearing. 

• Do:  Make sure you have one classy jacket and one casual sweater. Having a fancy jacket for a more formal date completes the outfit, and the same goes for wearing a nice neutral sweater for a more spontaneous dating experience.  Whatever date you chose, remember to follow through on your wardrobe by including a great outerwear piece to keep you, and your date warm!

• Don’t:  Wearing a worn out sweater or jacket with a broken zipper or a coat with holes in it is a BIG no-no.  When you wear clothes that should have been tossed long ago your date is probably thinking the same about you! 

Looking fresh and clean doesn’t require much time, money or experience, but it does impress a woman.  So men, remember these fashion tricks next time you go on a date and you will be feeling clean, casual and confident in no time!

A Great Place to Meet Singles in San Francisco: The Local Gym

Although the gym can be a scary place, especially for those of us who do not frequent it, it can also be a water hole for meeting exceptionally great singles in San Francisco.  You may be thinking “But Luvidya, I don’t go to the gym, so how is this beneficial for me?”  Whatever your excuse for not going the gym, change it.  If you can’t afford the expensive monthly memberships why not get a pass for 10 sessions.  You are sure to get your moneys worth, not just from physical gains, but more so from watching the decedent eye candy in the free weights section, lifting things up and putting them down.  So get off that booty of yours and start trotting on that treadmill, or participating in a spin class, or if you are feeling extra confident, head to the free weights section and ask for that eight-pack bro to spot you on your curls (and no, we don’t mean an 8-pack of beer).

How to meet someone at the gym

1.) Join a spin class:  Spin classes are a great place to meet people.  By doing an extremely difficult workout you will all be releasing endorphins.  Chose to sit next to someone and cycle in sync with him or her.  This opens the doors to piping up a conversation with them after class.  Each time you go it will be easier to chat and flirt with them (or even set up a date!).  Alternatively, if you are feeling a bit shy, chose to sit on a bike behind them so you get a great view of their “you know what” while you work those buns of your own.

2.) Ask someone to spot you:  This also goes for asking someone to show you how to use the weight machines.  Even if you know how to use the machine, or don’t need to be spotted, that sexy someone will never have to know (your secret is safe with us!).  This type of setup allows for conversation to flow naturally in a one-on-one setting.

3.) Go to the gym at the same time each day:  People normally have routine in their life.  If they go to the gym it is normally at the same time every day.  If someone catches your eye make note of the time and what kind of workout he or she is doing.  Don’t think of it as mild stalking, think of it as an opportunity to observe and ultimately determine ways you can get them to notice you!

The best times to go to the gym to meet singles

Some times the gym can be extremely slow, which is such a bore, especially when your main purpose isn’t necessarily getting fit (if you catch our drift).  So when is the best time to go?

The perfect time to go, in San Francisco, is between 6 and 8pm on weekdays.  Most people go after work and the average employed person in San Francisco tends to work slightly longer than the normal 9 to 5 shift that the rest of North American employees adheres to; so between 6 and 8 is when most singles will get their sweat on.  There are various reasons San Franciscans work longer hours but it’s mainly because San Francisco is filled with tech start-ups where employees tend to leave later in the day.  With a push for organizations to satisfy employees, most organizational cultures are relaxed and allow employees to chose when to come and go each day in San Francisco. 

Either way, going to the gym is a win-win situation; you get a great workout (ultimately getting you noticed more both at the gym and outside of it) and you also get the opportunity to meet great singles like you, who are health conscious and great looking.  So dust off those shorts and strap on those kicks and head out to your local gym; who knows whom you will meet!

When to Commit to a Relationship

There are many wonderful experiences two people go through when they start dating.  Sometimes it’s the firsts; the first handhold, the first kiss or the first I love you.  Other times the experiences can be more of a gamble such as the dreaded exclusivity talk.  Commitment is a scary thing.  It’s scary because sometimes, if both people are not on the same page, things can become not just awkward, but can easily end a relationship.

The reason exclusivity is such a nerve-wracking discussion is because you never really know how the other person feels about you until you sit down and talk about commitment.   Even though one person may feel exclusive after the third date it may take the other six months to feel they know that person well enough to commit to them. 

When it comes to commitment timing there are many factors that come into play, such as previous relationships, genuine understanding of one another, age and even location.  Wouldn’t it be great if there were a way to know at what point you should have the exclusivity talk?  Not to fret, because we did the research for you.

On average, most people in North America tend to have the exclusivity talk between the 6^th and 8^th date.  Once you go on that many dates you have a better understanding of one another and it is clearer that you are both interested in each other.  Sounds pretty legit, doesn’t it?

Don’t worry, if you wait until the 6^th or 8^th date, have the commitment chat and you both are not on the same page, at least you can move on from there.  If they aren’t interested in committing to you then understand that you should move on to something better, someone who is on the same page as you. 

Remember; never make someone a priority if they only make you an exception.